Today was the day I celebrated that 50th milestone in birthdays. In my previous blog "Facing Fifty," I mentioned having a wave of different emotions as I faced this day. Some of the concerns were "who will remember", "who will forget", "will this turn out to be my special day"? The results of the much anticipated day went as follows:
I was awake at 5:00 AM...WIDE AWAKE! I checked out my Facebook while the majority of my friends were still sleeping. After briefly surfing the internet, I decided to see if anything good was on television. If you like infomercials, you would be thrilled at the early Saturday morning television schedule. Giving up on that I decided I would try to go back to sleep. That lasted about an hour. Deciding it was time to take Jasper out for his morning stroll, I climbed out of my warm bed and unconsciously made a smart and out of the ordinary reach for my housecoat. When opening the door to outside, I knew at that point as the cold air hit my face that I would probably be up and awake for the remainder of the day. Making my way back in from the cold and back to the comfort of my warm bed, I climbed back in and snuggled under the covers at the slight chance of falling asleep. At exactly 6:55 AM, a text came in on my phone. This was the beginning of the wave of emotions I had been anticipating.
My first birthday wish was a very special one. It came in from my bestest buddy/sister. It was very fitting that the first would be from her. From there came the overwhelming and loving best wishes from family and friends on Facebook, texts and phone calls. One call that came in was from my aunt and uncle. My aunt sang "Happy Birthday" to me (she does not sing for anyone). Needless to say this was an honor! Somewhere in between all of the wonderful show of love from everyone, the emotions started running rampant. The feelings of missing daddy took over and I curled back up in my bed. This is where I feel my most comfort. I can close out emotions and the world. But, this time I took charge and not my emotions. After a short time of crying I decided I was not going to spend my birthday going deeper into the depression pit. Not today! Still being the only one in the house awake, I decided to try the television again. I found a marathon of "The Nanny." This show can always put a smile on my face! During this time I received another text (one out of quite a few) that was very special. It was from a friend (she seems more like a sister) that God just recently brought into my life. We have never met but I feel like we have known each other forever. Again, it was very fitting timing for a text like this.
The others were finally up and I heard rustling at the other end of the house. Billy and mama had fixed up the dining area like a small party for me. It was so neat, with everything from cupcake, presents, candy goody bags and banner! Then they took me out of town for a nice dinner and a little shopping. Now I am cuddled back up in my warm bed with my laptop, Jasper and a Diet Dr. Pepper. Also, during the day I found out that my bestest buddy/sister had wanted to give me a surprise 50th birthday party. While she was still in the planning process in her mind, she had the fall from her horse causing her concussion and not long after that her mother passed away. This planning/wanting may not seem like anything to some, but to me it made my heart feel so good that she would even consider going through all of that to plan me a party. That's love.
So, has this been a day that I have felt special? Have I felt loved, cared about and set aside for my special day? There is no way in the world I could have felt anything less than that! This has been a magical, wonderful, blessed and loved day. I will remember this day for as long as I live. Is 50 as special as 49? Yes, it is. I still don't understand why, but it just is. So, with this day almost behind me...I am already anticipating the wonderful things that will be happening to me throughout this year until I reach 51!!!
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