Facing Fifty

On December 11th I will be facing a milestone in my life. Yep...my 50th birthday. With this particular birthday comes a string of different emotions. I have never been one who is ashamed to tell my age. When asked I don't think of shaving a year or two off my age but always say "I am (whatever my age) " with a huge smile. Then I proceed to tell my captive audience my story of God's mercy and my cancer. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 1996. I had gone to my physician because of a lump in one breast and was sent for a mammogram. However, the results showed a mass in the other breast. I was scheduled for a biopsy and the results of that showed positive for cancer. My physician informed me that I had the fastest growing cancer I could have and had it not been found when it did I wouldn't be here for the next Christmas. So, needless to say I feel very blessed for every birthday I have. God had been working in every aspect of my life months before my diagnosis to prepare me for that time. This story is going to be for another blog. Now, back to the different emotions I am feeling now as I face this milestone.

As with all milestones in your life, you think of the loved ones that are not going to be around for that particular time. My daddy passed away April 2, 2009. It was awkward and somewhat sad on my last birthday; the first without him. But somehow, this particular birthday is different. Daddy and I use to joke about me turning 50. Daddy has been here for everything in my life. All the good and the bad. But, now all of a sudden a sadness comes over me that my daddy will not be here to share this time with me. I so much miss my daddy every day, but especially very special times like this.

I, in some ways would like for this day just to go by without a fuss. Just treat it as any other day. I'm no one special. It's just a 50th birthday. Why is "50" such a special number anyway? What about my 49th? Why was it not as special as the 50th?!!! But, there is something within me that thinks "HEY, I AM GOING TO BE 50!!! IT'S SPECIAL, DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!!!" I want to be special for a day. I want to be the center of attention. I want to be treated special...JUST ONE TIME FOR ONE DAY! Does that seem selfish? Is that expecting too much? Maybe...Probably...Yes!!! That's not really me, but I guess everyone sometime in their life wants to feel special. But, I don't want that "special" to happen because I have said something. I don't want to remind anyone. I would love for people to remember because they love me and because they have thought about me.

I also look at my life and think that I'm going to be 50! What have I done with my life...who have I touched in my life...have I even touched anyone's life...what have I done for God...am I where God wants me to be...is there another direction I need to go now...have I done all I can for my family and friends...have I been so selfish I haven't done for those I love?

Is this the "thinking" of someone reaching midlife crisis? Or is this the "thinking" of someone just being childish and immature? Whatever the reason for the thinking, I am very blessed by whatever age I reach. I am thankful for the family, friends and blessings God has given me throughout my life.

Whatever happens on my birthday, I will be back to fill you in!!!

Who I Am

Hi, readers! My name is Lou Ann Gibson. I am a Christian, I love my Lord and love talking about Him and sharing about all He's done for me. It's way too much to go into here in the introduction but, if you continue to follow my blog you will definitely hear a lot about the many blessings God has bestowed upon me!

I am a single (never been married), childless, almost 50 year old woman. I will reach my 50 year milestone December 11th. I stay at home with my mama, my brother and my boy Jasper (my dog, best friend and confidant). My daddy (the greatest man I ever knew) passed away April 2, 2009. This was one of the darkest days of my life.

I am a breast cancer survivor since 1996. This is another story that is too long to get into in the introduction but goes along with the many blessings God has given me that will be told in later blogs! One of my passions in life is working with youth. God has not blessed me with my own children but has RICHLY blessed me through church, family and friends with so many! I love each of them and can't tell how they have enriched my life. Don't get me wrong...there have been times when I thought "Wow! I am so glad this isn't a 24/7 deal with children." and then there are times then I think "How wonderful it would be to have all of this with the kids 24/7."

Some of the things I enjoy doing in my spare time are photography, writing, reading and traveling. I don't seem to find the time I need to do much of any of these but I see all of that changing in my near future. Or, at least I hope I see that happening!

This is just a little of who I am to get you started. The more you read of my blogs the more you will get to know who Lou Ann Gibson is.